Emergency Procedures for American Airways


Thank you for choosing to fly

With us. What now follows

Will be a short demonstration –

Flags burning semaphore, flight paths blockaded

While our engines slowly gain momentum –

For your security.


Emergency exits will be opened

After four years. In the meantime

Please look at the cabin crew,

Pass comments accordingly,

And strap yourselves in.


During our journey we will pass over

A number of commentators, viewpoints

And fundamental rights, which you would

Be able to see below, on the left, if conditions

Were less tempestuous.


In the event of a sudden incident

Or outright freefall, please remember

Woman and children, and ethnic minorities,

Must clear the way for long-suffering



Turbulence is highly likely. If we should

Encounter a storm,

Hold onto your principles – or you could

Always grab someone’s pussy – hold tight,

Cling desperately onto your convictions and await

Further demonstrations.


We expect to land

Some day. Until then,

Help yourself (only ever help yourself) to snacks,

Put on your blindfolds so you can sleep easily,

Have a pleasant flight, and thank you

So much for choosing us, today.



You may have gathered that I am Not Overjoyed by the recent election. Still: let’s see where this journey takes us, shall we? 


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