Thank you for choosing to fly
With us. What now follows
Will be a short demonstration –
Flags burning semaphore, flight paths blockaded
While our engines slowly gain momentum –
For your security.
Emergency exits will be opened
After four years. In the meantime
Please look at the cabin crew,
Pass comments accordingly,
And strap yourselves in.
During our journey we will pass over
A number of commentators, viewpoints
And fundamental rights, which you would
Be able to see below, on the left, if conditions
Were less tempestuous.
In the event of a sudden incident
Or outright freefall, please remember
Woman and children, and ethnic minorities,
Must clear the way for long-suffering
Turbulence is highly likely. If we should
Encounter a storm,
Hold onto your principles – or you could
Always grab someone’s pussy – hold tight,
Cling desperately onto your convictions and await
We expect to land
Some day. Until then,
Help yourself (only ever help yourself) to snacks,
Put on your blindfolds so you can sleep easily,
Have a pleasant flight, and thank you
So much for choosing us, today.
You may have gathered that I am Not Overjoyed by the recent election. Still: let’s see where this journey takes us, shall we?